I received a letter from
Midwest Transplant offering to give a letter to the individuals who were able
to benefit from Sara's tissue/organ donations. I can't remember everything that
she was able to donate and frankly the thought of it makes me want to scream.
Her organs were not able to save others but with the technology today there were many things that they were able to donate. I wasn't sure that this was something
that I could do...write a letter to the persons who received a piece of my
child. The child that I brought into this world and the child that I had to
cremate. I thought this over and over. I would pull out the brochure for
Midwest Transplant and slam it back in her pile of papers. I was angry at God and everyone else for me having to go through this. I was still grieving and now I am supposed to write a letter to someone who is still breathing. Before I was able to
push it out of my mind and keep the thoughts at bay, over the last few days its
been tugging at my heart. Its like a huge horn blaring in my head. So I sat
down last night and began to write the letter. So many things were running
through my head- who received her donation? How old are they? Did they know the
sacrifice that we faced? Did they know that this donation was the last act of
kindness she was able to give? Would she have wanted this? Would she be upset
at the choices we made? Would these people be old, young-would they feel
thankful or would they take it for granted. I have never thought more about one
single living act so much as I have in the last few days and what this meant to
me and our family. As a organ donor myself, I never thought that I would be
faced with making that choice for my child and I had already made the decision
for my family in the event of my own passing. My beliefs have not changed in
helping others as the last act of kindness and I am thankful that we were able
to at least help a few people in her passing. As I was finishing this letter, I looked outside and on the branch of the tree was a beautiful pigeon bird looking at me. The sighting of a pigeon is most commonly said to represent home and security. It is also believed that spotting a pigeon are considered spirit messengers that carry communication between the worlds of the living and the dead. In that moment, I feel at peace with my letter to the recipients who received a piece of my beautiful daughter. I feel guilty for wishing that I was one of those people who received a piece of her. If only and what ifs....
Letter to recipients-
To the recipient who received the most precious gift of all which
is the gift that someone I loved donated a piece of who they were so that
others can continue to grow and live on. I appreciate the opportunity to share
about our angel. Her name was Sara. I am her mother. She was a 16 year old
young girl with her life ahead of her when she passed suddenly. She comes from
a very loving and close family. She has a brother and a sister. All about Sara "Bob" Her nickname
was “Bob” since she was a very little girl. Sara was amazing from the day
she was born. God saved me the day he gave me her. From the moment she was born
she was loved. She gave me a reason to live laugh and love. She
loved to make people laugh. She liked to help others. She loved Ramen noodles.
She loved to bake, not just out of a box but putting all the ingredients
together. She loved cupcakes. She loved pancakes. She loved to correct people
when they were wrong, she didn't mean too but she couldn't help it she was so
darn smart. She was most of the time the smartest person in the room. She loved
to draw and doodle. She loved to play the piano even though only her dad ever
heard her play. She loved hot tamales as in the candy. She loved penguins. That
was her favorite animal in the world. She had a ton of them all over her room.
She loved Tinkerbell and collected them. She loved Disney when she was little.
She loved scratcher tickets. She love Cos play and anime. She loved Fairy
Tail anime. She loved to read. She started reading at the age of 3 and never
stopped. She loved Roman and Greek mythology. She loved Harry Potter. She loved
her two cats. She loved to play with Legos. She loved to play with play-doh but
you couldn't mix the colors. She loved to snuggle with her mommy. She loved
that I babied her. She loved to steal my blanket. She loved build a bear. She
loved doing stage make up. She loved Stucco. She loved school. She was a
natural at being smart. She always pushed herself to get good grades. She loved
speaking Spanish. She loved her Auntie Nici and her cousins.
She loved seeing her Aunt and Uncle every year in TN. She loved believing
in Santa Clause for her little brother. She loved X-mas. She loved all the
traditions that we have made over the 15 years. She loved making snicker
doodles and sugar cookies every holiday. She loved going to anime conventions.
She loved listening to music. She didn't like country but would listen with me
anyways. She didn't love pictures but would take them anyways with me. She
loved to play with snow. She loved fireworks. She loved watching Monk. She
loved watching CSI. She loved the Ren Fest; she always wanted to be a fairy
there. She loved doing scavenger hunts. She loved girl scouts. She loved
organizing things. She loved couponing with her mom. She loved helping me save
money. She loved games on her phone. She loved chopping wood with the ax
because it freaked me out. She loved playing with the fire pit. She liked the
movie Frozen. She loved her friends. She loved to help them with anything they
needed. She was a procrastinator at times. She loved doing gymnastics. She
loved Spain and being free. She loved cupcakes!!! She loved collecting markers
and sharpie’s. She loved cinnamon coffee cakes. She loved being Elf 1 for
Christmas. She loved cinnamon rolls. She loved her dad's chocolate chip
cookies. She wasn't into social media. She loved old time type writers. She
just got one for Xmas. She loved to hide under the bed and scare Jason. She did
not like to do laundry even though she always did help with mine. She loved the
movie Catch me if you can. She loved Care bears when she was little. She loved
blue’s clues. She loved yellow ducky. She did not like peanut butter at all.
She loved anything made out of bread, well almost. She loved playing Minecraft.
She loved jumping on mini trampolines. She loved driving the golf cart. She
loved hanging out in her room listening to her music. She loved letting me play
with her hair. She loved letting me take care of her like she was little
because I needed to feel needed. She loved to use her bow like Katniss
Everdeen. She loved animals. She loved being free. She loved calling people
jerk butts. She liked pink but only when she was little. However recently she
like purple, Teal, and Silver as her favorite colors. She also liked
black. She loved stealing my oversized hoodies. She didn't like shopping but
before she went to Spain she let me take her. We bought her dresses. I loved
that memory with her. She wasn't a huge dress wearing person. She was
beautiful. I loved her infectious smile. She loved to boop her family on the nose.
We called her Rhinoceros Sara. I was Princess Mommy. I loved to call her by her
middle name when she was in trouble which was never. Most of the time I used
her middle name to let her know I was serious or the mom had spoken. She loved
the movie Zoom. She loved milk...like loved it. She would
drink Hersey chocolate powder only, no chocolate syrup in her
milk. She loved drawing snails. She didn't really like being in big groups of
people. She was never mean to people because she didn't like how people had
been mean to her growing up. She loved challenging me mentally. She always did
things to make me feel better. She was my angel in more ways than one. She
didn't care for sports. She loved playing D&. She loved her friends. She
loved playing board games. She loved playing rummy cube and I had to cheat to
beat her. She loved subway sandwiches-white bread turkey only. She
loved Doritos. She loved BBQ Chips Lays only. She didn't like many
foods but the ones she loved. She ate a lot of them. She loved Webkinz when she
was little. She loved going to Title boxing. She loved learning new
things. She didn't like being illogical. She loved helping her friends
anytime they needed it. She like playing the game Harry Potter Clue. She won
more school academic awards than anyone I know. She won the Spelling Bee 4
years in a row. She loved being smart and being a NERD. She had a 4.7 GPA
in school going into her junior year. These are just a few of the things that
she loved. I miss her every day of every moment but I do find comfort that
she was able to help others as her last act of kindness. I never asked Sara if
that was something she would have wanted but at the time of her death, I felt
as though if she could help just one person she would have wanted it.
Allie
Allison Danielle Doss
Loved on who passed:
Sara Renea Prideaux
Date of donation: July
30th (this was the day she passed)
