They say the pre-teen/ teenage years are tough..your body starts to grow and change and your hormones go up and down, you start high school where having big or small boobs suddenly matters, friendships end and begin, you start trying to figure out your feelings and who you're meant to be and what you're meant to contribute to the world.
What they don't tell you about the pre-teen/ teenage years is that suicide becomes the second leading cause of death. According to The Jason Foundation, more teenagers and young adults die from suicide than from cancer, heart disease, AIDS, birth defects, stroke, pneumonia, influenza, and chronic lung disease, COMBINED.
What they don't tell you about the pre-teen/teenage years is that sometimes you fall victim to a devious depression who tells you that your worth is equivalent to the scum on the bottom of your shoe.
What they don't tell you about the pre-teen/teenage years is that sometimes you find yourself in the school bathroom, razor in hand, and blood swiftly running down your arm as you attempt to gain relief from the demon in your head telling you that you don't matter to anyone. You're wearing long sleeves but the shit hits the fan when the blood starts to seep through your gray school shirt.
"Oh, that? It's just marker residue from art class..I'm such a klutz!"
What they don't tell you about the pre-teen/teenage years is that sometimes Google isn't just for researching school projects. Sometimes its used to desperately search for "painless suicide methods", "how to successfully kill yourself", "why to stay alive", etc. You breathe a sigh of relief that there are hundreds of posts from others who seem to be in your shoes, wanting to end their pain like you.
What they don't tell you about the pre-teen/teenage years is that sometimes you get on the school bus at the end of the day hoping its the last time. You're going to go home and try to take your life with a method you researched on Google..and it better work because you're tired of living a lie.
What they don't tell you about the pre-teen/teenage years is that sometimes you need to go back to school wearing a turtleneck only because that damn rope left you with burns and nothing else but a weary beating heart and a dizzier head than before.
What they don't tell you about the pre-teen/teenage years is that sometimes methods work and kids die before they're able to drive a car, fall in love, go to college, or even go to that family party they seemed so excited about.
What they don't tell you about the pre-teen/teenage years is that sometimes these signs aren't clear. Even though many sufferers show signs, some do not until it's way too late.
The first time I thought about taking my life I was 13 years old and getting ready to graduate into high school. The last time I thought about taking my life was last week.
What they don't tell you about the pre-teen/teenage years is that sometimes suicidal thoughts don't end at the pre-teen/teenage years.
What I am telling you right now is that suicide is preventable. It's not always as clear as falling grades, increased/decreased sleeping/appetite, or any of the signs something may be desperately wrong. Sometimes it's a smiling face, sunny disposition, good grades in school, and what looks like a bright future ahead. To them, it's bleak and unimaginable to take another step through a world that has brought nothing but struggles and tears.
Depression is a brain disorder. If you've lost someone to suicide, you need to remember that what plucked them so suddenly from your life forever was most likely a chemical imbalance in their brain. Depression is just like cancer--it can go into remission with proper treatment or it can take your life. If someone told you they had cancer, would you dismiss them and tell them to "get over it"? Would you laugh and tell them so many others have it worse than them? I hope and pray that you wouldn't, so why say those things about an illness that mirrors cancer in so many ways? No one chooses depression, just like no one chooses cancer. But why shower one disease with rallies, support, gifts, fundraisers, etc. and turn your head to the other?
This is called stigma and if you fit the bill for turning your back on something as severe as depression, you are part of the problem. You are part of the reasons why some people don't reach out and ask for help. What our job as people is to help, not hurt. Your words can cut like a knife or help to heal a broken brain. Which would you choose if it were your child or loved one?
Together, we can help stop the stigma. You can help stop the stigma right now.
Share this blog with someone new today. Ask a loved one how they're feeling and really listen. Make it clear to them that they can tell you if anything is wrong and you won't turn your back on them or judge them. Remember, a smiling face does not equal a happy heart. Take the pledge today to be willing to help and remember that SPEAKING UP does save lives!!
This entire post was written by a young lady named Melissa Ann. We connected on Facebook and I asked her to share her story. She had such an impact on my life after just a few short conversations. She took time out of her day to make memory pages of Sara for me. She is talented with photos. She listened and reached out. She struggles and fights every day with her own battles. She is brave in sharing her struggles. We are blessed to have her in the fight for breaking the silence. Speak up!!!! Know that you are not alone. Special thanks to one beautiful young lady -Melissa you inspire me and thank you for being raw and transparent in your words. Much love lady and to making a difference in the world. Also there is a donation link if anyone is interested in memory or honor of Sara. All proceeds will go towards suicide prevention and things in her honor. In lieu of Christmas presents, we have started a scholarship that we hope to roll out next year, all you have to do is donate through the blog or the paypal link. Thank you for ur support.
