For Teens-or anyone struggling
Yes this is long but it could save your peers or you!!!
Understanding the Warning Signs of Depression and Suicide
Everyone feels sad, depressed, or angry sometimes, especially when dealing with the pressures of school, friends, and family. But some people may feel sadness or hopelessness that just won’t go away, and even small problems may seem like too much to handle. Depression can affect many areas of a person’s life and outlook. Someone who has very intense feelings of depression, emotional pain, or irritability may begin to think about suicide. You may have heard that people who talk about suicide won’t actually go through with it. That’s not true. People who talk about suicide may be likely to try it.
Everyone feels sad, depressed, or angry sometimes, especially when dealing with the pressures of school, friends, and family. But some people may feel sadness or hopelessness that just won’t go away, and even small problems may seem like too much to handle. Depression can affect many areas of a person’s life and outlook. Someone who has very intense feelings of depression, emotional pain, or irritability may begin to think about suicide. You may have heard that people who talk about suicide won’t actually go through with it. That’s not true. People who talk about suicide may be likely to try it.
Warning Signs of Suicide
- Talking about suicide or death
- Talking about “going away”
- Talking about feeling hopeless or feeling guilty
- Writing about death and dying
- Giving away prized possessions
- Pulling away from friends or family and losing the desire to go out
- Having no desire to take part in favorite activities
- Having trouble concentrating or thinking clearly
- Experiencing changes in eating or sleeping habits
- Engaging in self-destructive behavior (drinking alcohol, taking drugs, or driving too fast, for example)
As a friend, you may also know if the person is going through some tough times. Sometimes, a specific event, stress, or crisis: sexual abuse, bullying, break-up or a death in the family, can trigger suicidal behavior in someone who is already feeling depressed and showing the warning signs listed above.
What You Can Do For Yourself or Your Friend
Acknowledge you or a friend may have symptoms of Depression or Suicide
If you have a friend who is talking about suicide or showing other warning signs, don’t wait to see if he or she starts to feel better. Talk about it. Most of the time, people who are considering suicide are willing to discuss it if someone asks them out of concern and care. Some people (both teens and adults) are reluctant to ask teens if they have been thinking about suicide or hurting themselves. That’s because they’re afraid that, by asking, they may plant the idea of suicide. This is not true. It is always a good thing to ask. Starting the conversation with someone you think may be considering suicide helps in many ways. First, it allows you to get help for the person. Second, just talking about it may help the person to feel less alone, less isolated, and more cared about and understood, the opposite of the feelings that may have led to suicidal thinking to begin with. Third, talking may provide a chance to consider that there may be another solution. Asking someone if he or she is having thoughts about suicide can be difficult. Sometimes it helps to let your friend know why you are asking. For instance, you might say, “I’ve noticed that you’ve been talking a lot about wanting to be dead. Have you been having thoughts about trying to kill yourself?”
Acknowledge you or a friend may have symptoms of Depression or Suicide
If you have a friend who is talking about suicide or showing other warning signs, don’t wait to see if he or she starts to feel better. Talk about it. Most of the time, people who are considering suicide are willing to discuss it if someone asks them out of concern and care. Some people (both teens and adults) are reluctant to ask teens if they have been thinking about suicide or hurting themselves. That’s because they’re afraid that, by asking, they may plant the idea of suicide. This is not true. It is always a good thing to ask. Starting the conversation with someone you think may be considering suicide helps in many ways. First, it allows you to get help for the person. Second, just talking about it may help the person to feel less alone, less isolated, and more cared about and understood, the opposite of the feelings that may have led to suicidal thinking to begin with. Third, talking may provide a chance to consider that there may be another solution. Asking someone if he or she is having thoughts about suicide can be difficult. Sometimes it helps to let your friend know why you are asking. For instance, you might say, “I’ve noticed that you’ve been talking a lot about wanting to be dead. Have you been having thoughts about trying to kill yourself?”
Care about your friend
Listen to your friend without judging and offer reassurance that you’re there and you care. If you think your friend is in immediate danger, stay close – make sure he or she isn’t left alone.
Listen to your friend without judging and offer reassurance that you’re there and you care. If you think your friend is in immediate danger, stay close – make sure he or she isn’t left alone.
Tell a trusted adult
Even if you’re sworn to secrecy and you feel like you’ll be betraying your friend if you tell, you should still seek help. Share your concerns with an adult you trust as soon as possible. If necessary, you can also call a local emergency number (911) or the toll-free number for a suicide crisis line.
Even if you’re sworn to secrecy and you feel like you’ll be betraying your friend if you tell, you should still seek help. Share your concerns with an adult you trust as soon as possible. If necessary, you can also call a local emergency number (911) or the toll-free number for a suicide crisis line.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
National Hotline – When you Need Someone To Talk To
Covenant House Nineline: 800-999-9999
Covenant House Nineline: 800-999-9999
National Hotline – Crisis Prevention for Gay Youth
Trevor Helpline: 800-850-8078
The important thing is to notify a responsible adult. Although it may be tempting to try to help your friend on your own, it’s always safest to get help.
Not everyone recognizes depression when it happens to someone they know or love.
Some people don’t really understand about depression. For example, they may react to a depressed person’s low energy with criticism, saying the person is acting lazy or not trying. Some mistakenly believe that depression is just an attitude or a mood that someone can shake off. They don’t realize it’s not that easy. Sometimes, even people who are depressed don’t take their condition seriously enough. Some feel that they are weak in some way, or disappointing others because they are depressed. This isn’t right and it can even be harmful if it causes people to hide their depression and avoid getting help. Occasionally, when depression causes physical symptoms (things like headaches or other stress-related problems), a person may see a doctor. Once in a while, even a well-meaning doctor may not realize somebody is depressed. He or she may just pay attention to the physical symptoms. Talk to your parent(s)/guardian(s). Tell them how you feel. You might mention that you’ve been reading up on depression and, based on the symptoms you are having, you think that might be what’s going on with you. Ask your parent(s)/guardian(s) to arrange for you to meet with a counselor or therapist to find out how you can feel better.
Some people don’t really understand about depression. For example, they may react to a depressed person’s low energy with criticism, saying the person is acting lazy or not trying. Some mistakenly believe that depression is just an attitude or a mood that someone can shake off. They don’t realize it’s not that easy. Sometimes, even people who are depressed don’t take their condition seriously enough. Some feel that they are weak in some way, or disappointing others because they are depressed. This isn’t right and it can even be harmful if it causes people to hide their depression and avoid getting help. Occasionally, when depression causes physical symptoms (things like headaches or other stress-related problems), a person may see a doctor. Once in a while, even a well-meaning doctor may not realize somebody is depressed. He or she may just pay attention to the physical symptoms. Talk to your parent(s)/guardian(s). Tell them how you feel. You might mention that you’ve been reading up on depression and, based on the symptoms you are having, you think that might be what’s going on with you. Ask your parent(s)/guardian(s) to arrange for you to meet with a counselor or therapist to find out how you can feel better.
If you feel like you’re not getting anywhere with your parent(s)/guardian(s), talk to your school counselor. This is just the type of thing counselors are there to help solve, especially when it is affecting your schoolwork. Your counselor also may be able to help you when it comes to talking to your parent(s)/guardian(s).
Why Do Teens Try to Kill Themselves?
Most teens interviewed after making a suicide attempt say that they did it because they were trying to escape from a situation that seemed impossible to deal with or to get relief from really bad thoughts or feelings. Some people who end their lives or attempt suicide might be trying to escape feelings of rejection, hurt, or loss. Others might feel angry, ashamed, or guilty about something. Some people may be worried about disappointing friends or family members. And some may feel unwanted, unloved, victimized, or like they’re a burden to others. We all feel overwhelmed by difficult emotions or situations sometimes. But most people get through it or can put their problems in perspective and find a way to carry on with determination and hope. So why does one person try suicide when another person in the same tough situation does not? What makes some people more resilient (better able to deal with life’s setbacks and difficulties) than others? What makes a person unable to see another way out of a bad situation besides ending his or her life? The answer to those questions lies in the fact that most people who complete or attempt suicide have depression.
Most teens interviewed after making a suicide attempt say that they did it because they were trying to escape from a situation that seemed impossible to deal with or to get relief from really bad thoughts or feelings. Some people who end their lives or attempt suicide might be trying to escape feelings of rejection, hurt, or loss. Others might feel angry, ashamed, or guilty about something. Some people may be worried about disappointing friends or family members. And some may feel unwanted, unloved, victimized, or like they’re a burden to others. We all feel overwhelmed by difficult emotions or situations sometimes. But most people get through it or can put their problems in perspective and find a way to carry on with determination and hope. So why does one person try suicide when another person in the same tough situation does not? What makes some people more resilient (better able to deal with life’s setbacks and difficulties) than others? What makes a person unable to see another way out of a bad situation besides ending his or her life? The answer to those questions lies in the fact that most people who complete or attempt suicide have depression.
Depression
Depression leads people to focus mostly on failures and disappointments, to emphasize the negative side of their situations, and to downplay their own capabilities or worth. Someone with severe depression is unable to see the possibility of a good outcome and may believe they will never be happy or things will never go right for them again.
Depression leads people to focus mostly on failures and disappointments, to emphasize the negative side of their situations, and to downplay their own capabilities or worth. Someone with severe depression is unable to see the possibility of a good outcome and may believe they will never be happy or things will never go right for them again.
Depression affects a person’s thoughts in such a way that the person doesn’t see when a problem can be overcome. It’s as if the depression puts a filter on the person’s thinking that distorts things. That’s why depressed people don’t realize that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem in the same way that other people do. A teen with depression may feel like there’s no other way out of problems, no other escape from emotional pain, or no other way to communicate a desperate unhappiness.
Sometimes people who feel suicidal may not even realize they are depressed. They’re unaware that it is the depression, not the situation, that’s influencing them to see things in a “there’s no way out,” “it will never get better,” “there’s nothing I can do” kind of way. When depression lifts because someone gets the proper therapy or treatment, the distorted thinking is cleared. The person can find pleasure, energy, and hope again. But while someone is seriously depressed, suicidal thinking is a real concern.
People with a condition called bipolar disorder are also more at risk for suicide because their condition can cause them to go through times when they are extremely depressed as well as times when they have abnormally high or frantic energy (called mania or manic). Both of these extreme phases of bipolar disorder affect and distort a person’s mood, outlook, and judgment. For people with this condition, it can be a challenge to keep problems in perspective and act with good judgment.
Substance Abuse
Teens with alcohol and drug problems are also more at risk for suicidal thinking and behavior. Alcohol and some drugs have depressive effects on the brain. Misuse of these substances can bring on serious depression. That’s especially true for some teens who already have a tendency to depression because of their biology, family history, or other life stressors. The problem can be made worse because many people who are depressed turn to alcohol or drugs as an escape. But they may not realize that the depressive effects alcohol and drugs have on the brain can actually intensify depression in the long run. In addition to their depressive effects, alcohol and drugs alter a person’s judgment. They interfere with the ability to assess risk, make good choices, and think of solutions to problems. Many suicide attempts occur when someone is under the influence of alcohol or drugs. This doesn’t mean that everyone who is depressed or who has an alcohol or drug problem will try to kill themselves. But these conditions, especially both together, increase a person’s risk for suicide.
Teens with alcohol and drug problems are also more at risk for suicidal thinking and behavior. Alcohol and some drugs have depressive effects on the brain. Misuse of these substances can bring on serious depression. That’s especially true for some teens who already have a tendency to depression because of their biology, family history, or other life stressors. The problem can be made worse because many people who are depressed turn to alcohol or drugs as an escape. But they may not realize that the depressive effects alcohol and drugs have on the brain can actually intensify depression in the long run. In addition to their depressive effects, alcohol and drugs alter a person’s judgment. They interfere with the ability to assess risk, make good choices, and think of solutions to problems. Many suicide attempts occur when someone is under the influence of alcohol or drugs. This doesn’t mean that everyone who is depressed or who has an alcohol or drug problem will try to kill themselves. But these conditions, especially both together, increase a person’s risk for suicide.
Suicide Is Not Always Planned
Sometimes a depressed person plans a suicide in advance. Many times, though, suicide attempts happen impulsively, in a moment of feeling desperately upset. A situation like a breakup, a big fight with a parent, being victimized in any way can cause someone to feel desperately upset. Often, a situation like this, on top of an existing depression, acts like the final straw. Some people who attempt suicide mean to die and some aren’t completely sure they want to die. For some, a suicide attempt is a way to express deep emotional pain. They can’t say how they feel, so, for them, attempting suicide feels like the only way to get their message across. Sadly, many people who really didn’t mean to kill themselves end up dead or critically ill.
Sometimes a depressed person plans a suicide in advance. Many times, though, suicide attempts happen impulsively, in a moment of feeling desperately upset. A situation like a breakup, a big fight with a parent, being victimized in any way can cause someone to feel desperately upset. Often, a situation like this, on top of an existing depression, acts like the final straw. Some people who attempt suicide mean to die and some aren’t completely sure they want to die. For some, a suicide attempt is a way to express deep emotional pain. They can’t say how they feel, so, for them, attempting suicide feels like the only way to get their message across. Sadly, many people who really didn’t mean to kill themselves end up dead or critically ill.
What if This Is You?
If you have been thinking about suicide, get help now. Depression is powerful. You can’t wait and hope that your mood might improve. When a person has been feeling down for a long time, it’s hard to step back and be objective. Talk to someone you trust as soon as you can. If you can’t talk to a parent, talk to a coach, a relative, a school counselor, a religious leader, or a teacher. Call a suicide crisis line (such as 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-999-9999) or your local emergency number (911). These toll-free lines are staffed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week by trained professionals who can help you without ever knowing your name or seeing your face. All calls are confidential, no one you know will find out that you’ve called. They are there to help you figure out how to work through tough situations.
If you have been thinking about suicide, get help now. Depression is powerful. You can’t wait and hope that your mood might improve. When a person has been feeling down for a long time, it’s hard to step back and be objective. Talk to someone you trust as soon as you can. If you can’t talk to a parent, talk to a coach, a relative, a school counselor, a religious leader, or a teacher. Call a suicide crisis line (such as 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-999-9999) or your local emergency number (911). These toll-free lines are staffed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week by trained professionals who can help you without ever knowing your name or seeing your face. All calls are confidential, no one you know will find out that you’ve called. They are there to help you figure out how to work through tough situations.
5 Ways to Fight Depression
If you feel depressed, it’s best to do something about it. Depression doesn’t just go away on its own. In addition to getting help from a doctor or therapist, here are 5 things you can do to feel better:
If you feel depressed, it’s best to do something about it. Depression doesn’t just go away on its own. In addition to getting help from a doctor or therapist, here are 5 things you can do to feel better:
- Exercise. Take a 15- to 30-minute brisk walk every day — or dance, jog, or bike if you prefer. People who are depressed may not feel much like being active. But make yourself do it anyway (ask a friend to exercise with you if you need to be motivated). Once you get in the exercise habit, it won’t take long to notice a difference in your mood.
- Nurture yourself with good nutrition. Depression can affect appetite. One person may not feel like eating at all, but another might overeat. If depression has affected your eating, you’ll need to be extra mindful of getting the right nourishment. Proper nutrition can influence a person’s mood and energy. So eat plenty of fruits and vegetables and get regular meals (even if you don’t feel hungry, try to eat something light, like a piece of fruit, to keep you going).
- Identify troubles, but don’t dwell on them. Try to identify any situations that have contributed to your depression. When you know what’s got you feeling blue and why, talk about it with a caring friend. Talking is a way to release the feelings and to receive some understanding. If there’s no one to tell, pouring your heart out to a journal works just as well.Once you air out these thoughts and feelings, turn your attention to something positive. Take action to solve problems. Ask for help if you need it. Feeling connected to friends and family can help relieve depression. (It may also help them feel there’s something they can do instead of just watching you hurt.)
- Express yourself. With depression, a person’s creativity and sense of fun may seem blocked. Exercise your imagination (painting, drawing, doodling, sewing, writing, dancing, composing music, etc.) and you not only get those creative juices flowing, you also loosen up some positive emotions. Take time to play with a friend or a pet, or do something fun for yourself. Find something to laugh about, a funny movie, perhaps. Laughter helps lighten your mood.
- Look on the bright side. Depression affects a person’s thoughts, making everything seem dismal, negative, and hopeless. If depression has you noticing only the negative, make an effort to notice the good things in life. Try to notice one thing, than try to think of one more. Consider your strengths, gifts, or blessings. Most of all, don’t forget to be patient with yourself, depression takes time to heal.
If you’re not sure what to say to one of these lines, here are some reasonable opening lines that can get the ball rolling:
- Hello — I am really worried and anxious and I need to talk to someone about my future.
- Hi — I am feeling very anxious right now and don’t seem to know how to help myself very well. I have felt like this for many days. Can I talk to somebody about this?
- Hi — I don’t really know how to start talking about this. I just feel really bad right now and I am very afraid about my future and about my life in general. Is there somebody I can talk to about this?
- Hello — I am very discouraged about my life overall right now and I feel like I need some help in seeing my situation more realistically. From where I am sitting, my plight looks hopeless. I don’t know what to do and I feel like somehow time is running out on me.
- Hi — I feel like things are going to turn on me and I need some help in figuring out what I can do to feel better and to feel more prepared for what life is likely to bring along to me.
- Hello. I want to try to sum up how I am feeling. I feel painted into a corner. I feel like I have no choices and that I am in danger of things getting worse for me.
Taken from www.kidshealth.org and http://www.elyssasmission.org/
WHEN IN DOUBT; REACH OUT!!!!!!!!!! We will listen!
WHEN IN DOUBT; REACH OUT!!!!!!!!!! We will listen!
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